DOCTOR WHO-LISTEN

 

DOCTOR WHO-the extra, super duper brave rewatch of the MOFFAT ERROR: this time:

 

Season 8: Episode 4: LISTEN

 

“Well, I couldn’t have written it and forgotten, can I?”

 

“Have you met you?”

 

“He took my bedspread.”

“Ahh, the human race, you’re never happy, are you?”

 

“People don’t need to be scared by a big grey haired stick insect but here you are, stay still, shut up.”

 

 

“Do you have your own mood lighting now because frankly, the accent is enough.”

 

 

The first time I watched this I was enthralled by the idea and the execution…until the middle. Then, I realized I was being duped by Moffat who was trying to once more scare us with something usual. He hit pay dirt in BLINK but I still theorize that RTD DID (despite what RTD wrote that he did not) rewrite Moffat to make Moffat SUPERIOR to everything else in the RTD era. Look how Moffat messed up his own creation, the Angels. In any case, here, a good idea but it’s totally laughable. There are those (ABOUT TIME has not yet put out anything from the Moffat Error so no Matt smith or Peter Capaldi to refer to but there is Steve Cooper and Kevin Mahoney’s book to refer to) who think this was a brilliant examination of fear and how the thing does not really exist but I think this is a total cop out and means nothing. If it doesn’t really exist, we’re not afraid of it. On the other hand, maybe we fear things that never really will happen? The whole thing was a confusing muddled mess when I first saw it and BBCA cut it down.

 

So…maybe I’ll like it this time? I must admit I have even more prejudices going into this part of the Moffat Era than I did going into Matt’s time. Though Matt was a worse Doctor and some of his scripts ----most of them----were downright awful----it is Capaldi’s time that my interest in DW sank to a new low, only to be revived two seasons later with season ten’s start and then skyrocketed with season 11 but then plunged again with season 12’s boring stories and season 13’s low quality mini season of illogic. Thus, my view of these stories seems stuck in cement, unlike Matt’s, a few of which actually got me on their side in this brave, brave rewatch of the worst of DW: the Moffat Era.

 

 

Diving in…

 

Proving (without meaning to) he is a far better a Doctor and actor than Smith, Capaldi does well in this opening scene, making us pay attention to his self talk, which can be…indulging in the wrong actor’s hands. BUT again, Doctor Who’s indulgence on creatures and monsters and scary household items or things, really bothers me and bores me. DW used to tell stories, alien stories, political rebellion stories, action stories, history stories, wide eyed horror stories. Here…it’s all about the creature. And the show has been about that for some time, even in the better RTD era. Monsters. Aliens. Time traveling trouble makers. Maybe Moffat is trying to get away from that by revealing: there is no creature later on but it doesn’t work. Instead of giving us a good well developed monster with a background, he gives us nothing. But I’m ahead of him.

 

 

That fact that something really can’t get into the TARDIS means I don’t care a fig about the chalk rolling or the chalk board having LISTEN written on it. Who did that? Does this get an explanation?

 

And who thought this version of the theme was any good? It sounds like it’s sung by a witch from STAR TREK’S CATSPAW.

 

Danny makes mistakes, sure. Clara’s an idiot though. She caused the problem at dinner. I also do not like intercutting between later and earlier if it could have been told in linear fashion and been just as effective. There’s nothing wrong with Danny and Clara (well, apart from her harping on about things) but compared to Rose and Mickey (and maybe even Amy, who I can’t stand, and Rory) they’re just boring and not that well written. The acting is fine and the actors try hard but while Jenna comes up to it, I’m not sure the actor playing Danny does. It’s not his fault though, it’s the script that harps on about him being a soldier and we’ll get more of that later. Clara’s a jerk in the scene, though.

 

And does anyone put their head down in a plate like Danny does or like characters in bad sitcoms do?

 

Clara finds the irritating Doctor in her apartment and follows him into the TARDIS despite claiming she hasn’t said yes to his “mission” he needs her for.

 

Moffat strains to tell the story here with irritating dialog and something that doesn’t really make sense so it’s not scary. Horror has to have rules to be scary and it’s not just randomness that’s scary, though sometimes…here, he just has the Doctor ramble on about if someone talks to themselves, what if they’re not talking to themselves but to something else, what if no one is ever really alone. Gosh. It’s not a good concept really. Or rather if the thing were benevolent, it might be a good concept. In trying to scare me, it doesn’t work anymore than the Silence worked. And their background is sketchy, too.

 

Then, he stretches to add in more: everybody in their lives has the exact same nightmare.

 

Not sure why but the Doctor’s on this research? Instead of having the Doctor investigate or have the TARDIS plunge him and her into something that requires them to find out about it, the Doctor is pontificating on this thing, this creature, these theories. And…It’s already boring. It’s already too much like the Silence and a bit like the Angels, too.

 

And then….he adds on the under the bed thing with the hand grabbing your leg, your ankle. Admittedly the way it is filmed as the Doctor talks about it, it’s a bit scary or chilling but how much chilling if it were a scene happening to someone instead of just the Doctor conjecturing? Moffat’s just not a good writer. Things are happening that…aren’t really happening.

 

The old lady and the two kids who do the scenes with the hand from under the bed touching their legs are good actors. But never mind them, they’re not real characters so we switch back to the Doctor still talking to Clara about the “dreams throughout human history.”  B.O.R.I.N.G.

 

 

And no, Moffat, everybody does not dream about something under their bed. You’re just hoping everyone will go along with that premise. Okay, I will. See where it leads us.

 

Yes, Clara meets a younger Danny Pink and yes, that’s like Rose and Mickey, sort of, in FATHER’S DAY,  much better story.

 

Moffat then has more cliché-ish things: the Doctor asks the watchman if he turns around and misplaces his coffee and then asks who turned his telly off. Gosh.

 

I can’t help but think that there is an alternate universe story of this story that’s…better written, more organized, structurally superior and given a reason for the Doctor and Clara to basically invade an orphanage in Gloucester.

 

Now, the idea is that Danny just THINKS there’s someone under the bed and Clara claims everyone thinks that. She then links it to a bad dream as the Doctor did. Sure, everyone does check under the bed so that’s a better premise than having a dream of someone under the bed. I’ve never had that dream but I’ve checked under it when awake.

 

More later, something better’s on TV. I think.

 

It’s supposed to be funny that the Doctor took the coffee. It’s not.

 

More jam packed nonsense: dreams are not real; sometimes we feel someone behind us and the thing under your bed is that? Huh? Clara thinks you can hear dreams if you’re clever enough? What?

 

 

Okay the lump under the bed blanket IS scary but wait for the resolution. Everyone who writes DW thinks that scary is easy to do. It’s not. You don’t only need a scene and idea that’s scary, you need a scary REASON for it to be there, be it torture porn movies like SAW and HOSTEL or atmospheric tone supernatural movies like HORROR HOTEL (CITY OF THE DEAD) and CURSE/NIGHT OF THE DEMON. You need some thought behind the set piece (even Italian Giallo and American slashers like BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMMAGE and BLACK CHRISTMAS had this). Horror is NOT easy to do, though so many try.

 

So… the bed thing is disturbing but what IS it? If it’s nothing, it’s a cheat. Here, Clara SEES and TALKS to it.

 

The next part is either brilliant or the stupidest thing in the world of DW or any fiction or fact for that matter, too. I’m not sure. The Doctor convinces Rupert (really Danny Pink as a kid) that scared is a superpower and he and Clara should turn their backs on the thing under the blanket. He joins them, too. Capaldi makes you swallow this 100 percent. He believes it and that’s the difference between him and Matt Smith: Capaldi can act despite a shaky script and a silly premise that makes no sense. ALL the other Doctors can do that, too. Matt can’t really. I love Matt as an actor, I really do. I’ve seen him in other things but sadly, he can’t be convinced all his poorer scripts (of which there are many) can have the Doctor actor convincing and so he’s often, not.

 

I mean there’s no precedent for Clara and Danny to listen to the Doctor and turn around. Would you? Wouldn’t you just rush the blanket and pull it off? They clearly do not. I’m not even sure there is tension in this scene or not and maybe that’s good writing (?) but I’m sure it’s not. I’m not sure what we’re watching. I’m not sure it makes ANY logical sense. It’s just a fear scene and because there’s no background to it, no reason to it, it’s not scary in the least. It’s just there, TRYING to be scary and failing utterly.

 

Another Moffat failing: he makes the Doctor utterly stupid and unlikable AGAIN. It IS very funny that Clara has to hit him to stop him saying creepy things that will only scare the boy like humans are never alone in the dark and stupid stuff like that, most of which are not true and that the boy is up here all alone but if you think about it, it makes the Doctor a real jerk and an asshole. Doesn’t he realize he’s scaring the kid or possibly making him feel worse? What’s worse is: does the Doctor CARE about others, any others? Or is he just trying to make himself out to be this mysterious man…Moffat and his fans tend to think this makes the Doctor a mysterious alien who isn’t like us but it just makes him a psycho. Path. On top of being a sociopath. He has to realize he’s being this for a being who’s lived so long and lived among humans for so long. He’s a jerk in the Moffat era, which is why his era is worse than Chib’s era.

 

This Doctor as well as Matt’s Doctor are not someone’s you want to meet, not aliens you’d want to meet. They’re not nice despite being childlike and jealous and silly and seemingly master of all. They’re fictional superheroes who don’t do a lot of superheroing and don’t save everyone. And now, on top of jumping out of a good friend’s stag party cake and telling him his fiancé kissed him and is a good kisser (which is only part of the truth), he’s now someone who scares already frightened children. Let’s get this straight once and for all: the Doctor IS NOT a superhero and has no special powers. Done.

 

Admittedly, some of Clara’s lines are funny including calling the Doctor a grey haired stick insect. And telling him to shut up.

 

Then, without knowing what was in the room, Clara and the Doctor attempt to fake guard the bed and put him to sleep, in that order. Clara puts toy soldiers under the bed to “guard” Danny. The Doctor, bored by Clara’s near attempt to read Danny a bedtime story, says, “Once upon a time…” and touches his forehead and put him to sleep, “Dad skills.” He IS a jerk. Again, this, too, makes him quite unlikable. He has no people skills and a being as long lived as him SHOULD, despite whatever incarnation he is settled into. And if he’s not, he’s still that unlikable. I would like to kick him in this scene and this story. And it’s not funny if it’s supposed to be and if even if it’s not.

 

Moffat doesn’t know how to make the Doctor likable. Oh and oh, isn’t it cool he did something from the McCoy story where the 7^th Doctor touched someone and put them to sleep? No. It’s not cool at all. Especially used on a kid like this.

 

Clara does a sensitive thing by asking the Doctor for a favor and returning to Danny’s dinner with her and then she does something fundamentally stupid by letting Danny know she knows his real name is Rupert. She’s a jerk, too. She does it by saying Rupert Pink is not a good name. What a jerk. Can Moffat write nice?

 

She also forgets her jacket which she just saw herself in as she was walking away from the restaurant in it and…oh god, can I go on?

 

It’s Danny’s turn to leave. His super power? Knowing when people are lying to him.

 

If that’s not badly written enough, the Doctor appears in the restaurant in a space suit to draw Clara out. It’s as stupid as it sounds.

 

Clara tries to justify that things are not weird. They are and she’s a liar now, too.

 

Okay, it’s not the Doctor in the space suit. Oh, that’s a good twist. Wait, no it is NOT, clearly. WHY would the Doctor send Danny’s descendant outside into the present to get Clara out of a dinner. Clara’s MAD at the Doctor for the date going horribly wrong when it’s really her fault FIRST and his second. The Doctor is right: this IS strange but it’s the writing. Nothing anyone does makes any sense and makes them take responsibility for themselves and their own actions!

 

It is Colonel Orson Pink from about 100 years into Clara’s future.

 

 

I hate this. WHY would this happen?

 

I hate that the TARDIS has limits “not supposed to go this far” blah blah blah. Yes, we have a wonderful time machine for going anywhere in time and space and let’s…narrow down where it can go. Why has this so called story taken this turn? Does it make sense?

 

And about Capaldi: what I said a while ago. Here, he over does it. Moffat’s over egged the pudding and given him more mysterious lines but I find at this point, I do NOT care. The only reason I care about any of the other Doctors (minus Matt’s) is that they had a function in a story and it wasn’t to be the madman who says cryptic things to sound cool or scary or whatever it is Moffat is trying to do there. This story is annoying. It’s almost not even a story but a series of unrelated set pieces that suck and mean nothing.

 

Lo and behold, even more clap trap: Orson is a pioneer time traveler. Can this get any more far removed from anything human and entertaining? Gosh.

 

To reiterate what a jerk he was from ROBOT OF SHERWOOD, the Doctor always thought HE would be the last man standing at the end of the universe. Why? Does he think he’s that cool? He’s not, especially not in this incarnation. And god, he is so unlikable in this.

 

“Her face is so wide. She needs three mirrors.”

 

The Doctor says everyone in the universe is dead but there’s something out there. He waits, lying that the TARDIS needs to be recharged or maybe it’s not a lie? Who knows? Do I care? Not really.

 

Orson intimates that he knows about Clara time traveling and that it runs in the family and they might be related. Oh, wow. Big deal. HOW can he be Danny’s relative if Danny, well, dies at the end of this horrible season?

 

The Doctor’s reasoning is not exactly Sherlock Holmes: he figures Orson wouldn’t keep the door locked unless something is out there. That does not necessarily follow.

 

Moffat tries to scare us by mentioning yet another premise: Clara and the Doctor both think there was something the pipes or rather they always thought there was something in the pipes. Not only are they both signaled as cowards here but also deluded fools. Moffat’s bad writing shows through as he strains to scare us again by something common in ordinary life. Again, he fails.

 

And…let me get this straight. Clara asked the Doctor to bring her back to Danny Pink’s date at the restaurant and he NEVER asked her the details? He doesn’t know she was having dinner with Danny Pink, the kid from the past and the ancestor of the guy he just picked up from the future? Okay, I guess it’s all tied together by the fact that Clara was linked the TARDIS’ telepathic circuits or field or whatever but these two really do NOT communicate, do they? It’s the worst relationship at this point but maybe that’s purposeful? I mean their sniping at each other takes on a new form of distrust as they don’t share what’s going on with each other in time traveling adventures if this can be called an adventure because it’s not.

 

And now the story is a lesser version of MIDNIGHT for a bit.

 

He never asked her why it was important to “break the laws of time” and she never thought to tell him?

 

Wow.

 

Now, we get another premise: what if there are creatures that only appear to the very young or the very old or the very mad and there’s only one man left in the universe? WHO CARES? Shut up!

 

Someone is knocking. Three times. Sigh.

 

Do I need to explain where that comes from? DW2009?

 

Something in the mirror in the corner of your eye? A footstep following but never passing? Anyone wishing it was the PREDATOR coming in to eat the Doctor? He would deserve it. He could “know” by just watching from the TARDIS on scanner screen. He’s an idiot.

 

She calls him an idiot after he yells at her and threatens her with, “You will never travel with me again!”  He knows he is an idiot.

 

Bad. Just bad.

 

More miscommunication. Clara has a set piece scene in a farmhouse and becomes the woman under the Doctor as a boy’s bed. It almost makes sense now. It really doesn’t. The unseen woman seems nice. The male voice (the Doctor’s father?) isn’t. We hear the Doc wants to join the army? We hear he won’t make Time Lord? Clara hides under the bed. She touches the Doctor’s ankle and the boy thinks it is just a dream and she touches his head when he continues crying and doesn’t react? He thinks it’s just a dream? Does this make sense? No. It does not. Then, she only goes back inside and tells Orson and the Doctor that he’s just afraid of the dark and then makes him promise he will never go outside to see where they are/were.

 

In a flashback/memory we see what she told the Doctor, referencing the awful DAY OF THE DOCTOR and the “deed” which HE DIDN’T DO as it was reversed!!!! She also reiterates the fear speech given by the Doctor to younger Danny.

 

Fear can make you kind. Yet another false premise from Moffat.

 

She hugs him. He doesn’t like it. And then Moffat pours on the false premises: fear is like a companion, you’re always going to be afraid, fear is always there, fear can bring “us” together, fear can bring you home, and fear makes companions of us all. All of these are terrible assertions about life and awful things to plant on young viewers and all of them are not true. Fear is not good. Moffat seems to think he is psychologist or maybe he’s just working through his own issues. I hate his writing. I really do.

 

I’m sure but probably wrong that the last scene had the thing under the blanket rising again on a bed and then it ended …on BBCA. BUT maybe that is just me.

 

This might be one of the worst stories from Modern DW. Or one that is a “could have been”. It’s all over the place. It’s not entertaining, exciting or even good.

 

Next time looks like it could be even worse a time waster….heisting our time! ;)