DOCTOR WHO-LUCKY DAY (extreme spoilers)

 

DOCTOR WHO-LUCKY DAY (extreme spoilers)

 

Oh fuck! Is today Saturday? Doctor Who new episode? I didn’t almost forget---I did forget. Compare to the Chris Eccleston’s and David Tennant’s stories when I did countdowns and couldn’t wait and it was the only thing foremost in my mind. Now? Could care less. As far as I’m concerned, I’m hoping the countdown is four to the end of the entire series forever.

 

Let’s see what shitty script we have this time…

 

Microsoft news asked: “What went wrong with Doctor Who?” Ha ha. Just read my blog.

 

Hang on, this is gonna be a rough one: that slap happy mentally deficient Ruby is back.

 

Combine her with irritating, irritable, selfish bint Belinda and you’ve got some really bad TV on the horizon. Read Dark Horizons: it’s a great Matt Smith Doctor novel that does his Doctor right. Unlike Moffat.

 

Okay…onto LUCKY DAY: stalling here because last week and the week before were almost painful in that…they could have been good but weren’t.

 

Gosh.

 

Sigh.

 

You know while I am on it: compared Disney WHO to Disney’s greatest show ever, SO WEIRD: the first three episodes establish rapport between actors and characters, plot, tone, scary stuff, loyalty, love, mystery, a dark arc, and a lot of humor and fun, messages, all entertaining, all thoughtful, all meaningful. Doctor Who used to do that or at least some of that and now it can’t manage even one of those. From one kid show to another : DO BETTER. Or rather to RTD: KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID.

 

The other thing I noticed right away is we’re back on Earth and fireworks. For a series that can go anywhere and do anything and have aliens and the future and the past, here we are again, in typical RTD blah Earth. And if not that, Earth colony humans or human like people as in the stupid THE WELL, which had humans who never heard of Earth. Oh really? Where did they come from? In any case, all of time and space and we’re back in Ruby’s time or something? He sucks.

 

Aw, fuck this for an episode of SINGLE, OUT or even CRIMINAL MINDS: EVOLUTION or SURREAL ESTATE or even GENERAL HOSPITAL and DAYS OF OUR LIVES. All more fun, all more entertaining and all better written. The sad thing is that each ep of SINGLE, OUT is only about 18 to 20 minutes and they only get about seven to eight episodes, ten if we’re lucky and DOCTOR WHO DISNEY shit gets about 42 minutes and eight episodes. Fuck Doctor Who.

 

Actually, it might be great to combine SINGLE OUT with DOCTOR WHO. Make one or two or three of those gay men companions. Or make the Doctor become one of them in one of their bodies. Yeah, stick the Doctor in one of them! It’d be great and a ratings booster and we can get close to 20 eps a season!

 

Okay, enough stalling, I’m putting my AE suit (all environments suit---not that I’ll need it because we’re back in 21^st century boring old Earth and I hear Sarah Jane’s “Life on Earth can be an adventure, too!” Aoh, shut up you stupid bint, no, it cannot be. At least not when you have the TARDIS to escape the confines of your boring old Earth while you, against all the Classic Sarah Jane character traits, pine away for your one true love: The Doctor! No, no, and no.

 

Nuff stalling two:

 

Crap. I need something to drink and eat to get through this shit.

 

Conrad: the boy tells them they are in 2007, which just helps to remind me what a great season David Tennant’s Doctor had that year. And it was flawless compared to this season so far. Okay, I’ll give this shit a chance.

 

Elton…uh, I mean Conrad grows up after looking for that blue box that he saw appear out of nowhere. I’m getting LOVE AND MONSTERS vibe here. Can RTD do anything original?

 

Conrad grew up and glew up! What’s a chance he’s gay? Probably none as he’ll fall for Ruby. For a gay man, who was once accused of a gay agenda for DOCTOR WHO, RTD sure plays it all completely straight almost every time.

 

Okay, someone else is writing this but it is under RTD’s show running. If that’s what we can all it.

 

ROSE like (in both connotations of that word), Conrad goes into a factory of some kind…with life like store front model dummies…after touching a burning lock that got opened and him not getting burned).

 

LOVE AND MONSTERS and ROSE: check.

 

He sees Ruby and the Doctor from early days. She’s been marked by the Shreek and so has Conrad. The Doctor has an antidote for Ruby but Conrad stays hidden, the dope.

 

Ruby and the Doctor a half hour ago were hanging out with the Beatles.

 

Ruby meets Conrad. She’s 20 and from Manchester.

 

Wait. WHY can’t Conrad drink the antidote right away? Why does he have to wait until night?

 

I get a really strong X FILES vibe here.

 

Only not as good, atmospheric and/or funny.

 

Okay, so Conrad and Ruby have a genuine rapport, the actors make the characters do that and I guess the script helps. I think it helps that they are both more likable than Belinda and I have to say since last episode and the start of this one, both of them are more likable than the Doctor, who’s become as irritating as Belinda. His interaction with child Conrad is bewildering.

 

Having a coffee, Conrad asks if the Doc is Ruby’s boyfriend and she responds with, “No, God, no, if he were here he’d probably be flirting with you.”  To which Conrad sheepishly replies, “I probably wouldn’t notice.”  Straight then. They kiss. They go on four dates and this weekend is the fifth, probably.

 

Ruby’s adoptive mum tells her Gran just watched THE WICKER MAN. I have to say that Gran, mum and Ruby are pleasant enough. It’s just seeing them reminds me to much of the horror (and I don’t mean the genre tropes, I mean how awful last season was) of last season.

 

Sadly, Ruby calls Kate who is in love with that hunky Mid Eastern UNIT soldier. Mel is on her way to Sydney, there’s something strange going on in the harbor (possibly leading into or a part of THE WAR BETWEEN THE LAND AND THE SEA, of which I’m so NOT excited to see). Ruby calls because the lights keep flickering.

 

If Conrad and his friends are from the same areas as each other, why are they not in the same scene when Ruby and he arrive at the small town (and again, another small town, Doctor Who…well, okay, it’s better than another big giant universe ending crisis, I suppose)?

 

Kate likes working late. Gosh, I hate that character.

 

Doesn’t the Doctor have a phone number that Ruby can call direct? I mean RTD’s era set that up in the first four seasons.

 

Are these women stupid? They seem to know or at least Ruby did, that there can be more than one Shreek. Conrad should have taken the antidote (did he?). They have that one Shreek locked away but why haven’t they thought about others possibly coming?

 

So here we have Russell’s (and to be fair, Chibs and Moffat’s too) idea that the Doctor’s adventures give his companions PTSD.

 

“I mean I fought gods, like actual gods. And I was eaten by a double bass. And kidnapped b goblins. I dangled on a rope ladder above London. And I watched the world turn to dust. Every day is like fight or flight.”

 

An old woman comes in with her dog, Biscuit. There’s something out there: the monster. A monster Shreek. Shreek? Really? Why not just call it Shrek and be done?

 

The village is Colson village. Ruby calls in UNIT. Conrad admits to her he didn’t take the antidote. He’s an idiot. Hot but a hot idiot. He wanted to be brave like the Doctor. There seems to be about three outside right now. Conrad’s friend Sparky is missing.

 

There’s another hot UNIT man, too, now. His name seems to be Jordan .

 

Kate, wheel chair bound Shirley Bingham, hunk Col. Ibraham,  and Jordan  head for the village.

 

Ruby’s in an almost completely open on one side area and somehow Conrad sneaks up on her. WHY he would want to and why she is shocked that he’s there is beyond me. In any case, despite this, this is actually more engaging than the last three episodes. I think Ruby’s actually a better companion played by a better actress than Belinda and Vashta (Narada).

 

UNIT is UNIT in UNIT…oh wait, this is DOCTOR WHO. UNIT to the rescue of two idiots who go out to look for Sparky, who is probably already dead. Ruby has…a fire poker. Shirley’s a bitch to Jordan . He should slap her.

SPOILERS   SPOILERS 

 

Conrad works for THINK TANK or is a part of THINK TANK, exposing the lies perpetuated by UNIT. What? The monsters are his friends in costumes. What what what?

 

So nice Conrad turns out to be a total creep. I’m getting serious RUNAWAY BRIDE vibes here. Nice white guy turns out to be bad instead of black guy but all the same…

 

THINK TANK was in ROBOT, not one of the best stories.

 

Did I hear someone say SHIT? No, really, just before the female friend says, “Are you gonna arrest me?”

 

Okay, as weird as this is: is this RTD with an anti media message and a pro government message? Or rather Peter whoever who wrote this but RTD allowing it? Shocking.

 

The media slants the story to make UNIT and the gov’t look like they are lying and using tax payer money and make it look like Conrad is a hero. THAT is an interesting message and slant.

 

I can’t say I expected this.

 

UNIT seems to be getting defunded and it’s not made to look like that’s a good thing. Another shock that the far left RTD would allow this story.

 

Jordan is working with Conrad and lets him inside UNIT. Also what is with the Superman names: Conrad’s last name is Clark and Jordan’s is Lang.

 

When Jordan protests Conrad using a gun, Conrad shoots him and his life hangs in the balance. Conrad seems to try to cover that up with lies, too.

 

Finally, Kate has a fine moment: she lets the Shreek out to stop Conrad!

 

So did Conrad really see the blue box appear? Or what one of his lies?

 

I stand with UNIT. Not sure if this is an Isreal or Palestine thing but it’s pro gov’t. Conrad will live but he’s a real asshole. Jordan will live, too.

 

Kate’s best story.

 

For some reason I want to give this a 10/10 but I just can’t. Conrad’s too much of a stupid asshole to be a real person so that takes at least a point off. Ruby’s “poor me stuck in limbo” story is old hat, too so a point off for that so so far 8/10. Let’s see how the wind up happens as that usually lets us all down…

 

…

 

One thought: how does the abysmal 73 YARDS fit into this?

 

I thought the idea was that the Doctor was going to steal Ruby’s boyfriend. Not sure how that would play out as good for the character but they’re not doing that.

 

A better writer might have had the Doctor save Conrad instead of Ruby and then Conrad wouldn’t have had such an asshole move by still trying to pass off his lies that UNIT fakes monsters. Which is stupid as the whole Earth was once moved and Cybermen and Daleks fought on Canary Wharf and invaded OTHER places in other episodes, especially the Daleks.

 

As it is Conrad is in jail, his arm with some attachment where the Shreek bit him.

 

Kate bids Ruby goodbye and it’s nice but ruined by a bitch statement from Shirley, “You’ve already got two mums, what do you collect em?” SHUT UP.

 

The Doctor appears the TARDIS around Conrad.

 

The Doctor (from before meeting Belinda) gives us the RTD bullshit about being special, to be invited or be invited to be special or some such shit. It’s not true. Look at the classic series, many just wandered in or forced their way in (Polly and Ben, Ian and Barbara, Leela, Adric, Tegan, Peri, Sarah). SHUT UP, TOO, DOCTOR, you’re annoying and elitist.

 

They’re so close they could kiss! The Doc gives him a stern talking too and tells him his future. But he’s wrong as usual. He returns him to his cell where the Doc predicts he will die at age 49. Again, it’s RTD’s idea that everyone who is not him and his ideals will die alone and forgotten.

BTW, the Doc is once again the least imposing person in the room. Conrad can wipe the floor with this skinny, short wimp who talks a good talk but does none of the heavy lifting at all. Everyone else does.

 

Mrs Flood has the keys to release Conrad.

 

Okay, so that ending? Not sure what to make of that. Didn’t expect this to be Doctor lite. Didn’t expect Conrad’s betrayal. NOT predictable. But the ending really lets it down. WHY does the Doctor even bother to give Conrad a TARDIS greet and meet when Conrad was already in the prison cell? It’s almost tagged on and boring and makes the Doc look weak. He almost did NOTHING again to stop this. It was all Kate in her only good story.

 

I’d have to give this a 6/10 (no, not really, see below) then for being oddly disjointed and a bit out of left field. It’s not terrible but not very coherent, still it’s more coherent than ANY other Ncuti story so far but…IDK there’s still something missing for DW. It’s very awkward and not as far from reality as the rest of the Disney Error Era but…it’s not that close either. 

I have to change this to a 0/10 for all of the stuff below. It really is bad writing. 

 

Also: WHY do most of the action adventure series from the 60s and 70s look better and more expensive than this?

Apparently, I missed a bunch of stuff here:

-Conrad is supposed to be podcasters attacked by the writer and RTD

-Uhm, Ruby never listens to one podcast by Conrad who...broadcasts about how he does not believe in aliens?

-Conrad slights his own audience?

-To reveal UNIT doesn't tell the truth about aliens, Conrad lures them out with fake aliens, his friends in masks but why would UNIT come to stop aliens in a town if UNIT didn't believe in aliens in the first place.

-Jordan works for UNIT undercover for Conrad and has a lot of info: so...how come he doesn't realize that the aliens in prison there ARE REAL?

-Apparently, UNIT is supposed to stand for....who? The BBC?

-Conrad sees an alien in a factory that spills goo on him, sees Ruby and the Doctor hunt and stop an alien, sees and overhears the Doctor give Ruby an antidote and NO UNIT around...and sees Ruby and the Doctor vanish in the TARDIS? Yet he still doesn't believe in aliens?

-Conrad wants to get in touch with Ruby...but he just had to call out to her from the alley he was hiding in. Why didn't he? 

-Ruby goes on a podcast she hasn't heard one episode of?

-Conrad tells the Doctor he knows about his future companion AND knows the Doctor has had plenty of friends AND is in the TARDIS...and he still doesn't believe in aliens? In order to know all of this, he MUST know the Doctor is an alien and that negates the entire episode.

-Conrad was not telling lies; he really believed in what he was saying even though the script and Conrad's past should have him believe in aliens, he really believed UNIT was lying so he wasn't lying, he was just wrong.

-Kate says it would take 30 minutes to get the town village Ruby is in but later, it doesn't by helicopter AND by jeeps.

-Ruby's grandmom and mom know of Conrad's posts and don't tell Ruby he's anti UNIT and anti alien?

-UNIT is not secret, nor are aliens. UNIT has a building in the middle of the city. Aliens were in every home, Cybermen, Daleks moved the Earth. Sycorax were over London!

-UNIT doesn't know about Conrad's podcast even though it attacks them?

-WHY does Conrad break into UNIT? To have them shoot at him?

-If UNIT is faking aliens, why would they have a fake alien faked in their own HQ where no one but UNIT people are? they'd have no reason to do that. Conrad doesn't think about that?

-More I'm sure.