DARK SHADOWS 615

“The things that I’ve seen.”

“The woods are….are scary.”

“I always pride myself on not saying too much.”

“I don’t know. He was standing there at the window, listening to those dogs.”

Lara Parker. The narration tells us that police sirens once again ring out on the great estate of Collinwood. It is 11-1-68. Sheriff Patterson, now played by someone named Alfred Sands who looks like Robert, the brother on EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, questions a distraught Mrs. Johnson. She does not want to live through a day like that again. “The things I’ve seen.” She knows Joe since he was a boy, his whole life really. She is worried about what happens at the Old House. Julia overhears Patterson questioning Johnson and finds out that Joe tried to strangle Barnabas that way. Theme song, no reprise.

BTW before I forget this unrelated bit: Marie Wallace, on the dvd interview, reveals that they tried Eve with scars. They also tried one on the neck only and it looked too much like a necklace so they left it out, too, thank goodness.

One hour after Joe attacked Barnabas, he was found in the mausoleum by Liz and Roger. Patterson then questions Julia. Patterson flubs at the word trial but says term instead and then corrects himself. Julia was here for fresh medication. When Patterson lets her leave, she questions Barnabas who will not let her examine him. She suggests he call a lawyer. She also tells him why not let the police catch the vampire, maybe they will have better luck. Barnabas is worried that his past will be discovered but she tells him there is no link to him. He is acting like the Old Barnabas. When Julia tells him she might not want to do what he says, he tells her to go back to Collinwood, she can do no good here. Then she decides to help him with Joe. She asks Barnabas why he’s protecting the vampire.

Later Mrs. Johnson is with Barnabas trying to apologize. “I always pride myself on not saying too much.” WHAT!??? IS SHE KIDDING ME? She tells Barnabas what she told Patterson and Mr. Roger. She lies when she tells Barnabas she resisted calling the police. We know that it is a lie or that she’s just forgotten because Harry pressed the hang up on the phone when she tried to call. When Barnabas lies and tells her he is worried about Joe, she tells him that is a very Christian thing to do and that she would not be able to do that. When Patterson arrives, Mrs. Johnson is called Mrs. Potter or Mrs. Kotter by Barnabas in a flub. She IS the mother of Harry…Potter or maybe she’s WELCOME BACK KOTTER’s Mrs. Kot-ter. Barnabas tells Mrs. Johnson that she can relay to his cousin Elizabeth that he is all right. She leaves. He seems to have said that more for Patterson to hear. He asks if he can give him some sherry but Patterson does not take it.

Patterson questions Barnabas, who tells him that Joe was here for three days. Barnabas tells him he found Joe injured but when Patterson asks how he was injured, Barnabas says, “Well, I don’t really know.” Patterson does not believe that.

BY THE WAY, Joe has a bandage on his neck AND his stomach. He tried to kill himself and was bitten by Angelique. NO ONE that found him that isn’t already in the know has looked under those bandages and/or questioned Joe or each other about them???

Barnabas explains he thinks Joe caused the wound himself. Which one?

Barnabas tells him that Mrs. Johnson’s story was more vivid than real. Which could be the same thing but not really? Patterson questions him some more and has many theories.

Patterson teleprompter reader.

He asks if Barnabas was seeing Maggie Evans and Barnabas reacts “Good heavens, no.” As if THAT is so strange! The dogs are making Barnabas lose his focus as Patterson talks to him and the sheriff flubs again, “Something…someone…”

Angelique rises from her coffin, well, sits in it until the camera moves off her, then rises, then gets upright. Patterson seems to be deliberately talking slow as if trying to remember his lines. “Well, Doctor…Dr. Hoffman says the…ahhh his medicine was…tampered with that it had been poisoned.”

Angelique summons Barnabas, who gives the poison medication bottle to the sheriff for examination.

This can’t be said any other way: Angelique’s dress near her chest is very prominent as she summons Barnabas, she standing in the basement. The camera man zooms in as if not wanting anyone to see that.

Barnabas tries to get Patterson to leave, telling him he is not feeling well. Patterson gets a, “IDU, Mr. Collins.”

Patterson says to Barnabas that something is happening in this house right now that is making him feel this way. He recognizes that Barnabas is not feeling well and later in the woods, he tells Julia how ill Barnabas is and how the dogs howling upset him. Julia startled by him says, “The woods are….are scary.” Julia starts to get the hints.

It seems the clock says 8:10 pm or 12: 45 am or 12:40am? Barnabas voice over. He will resist Angelique tonight. She laughs. Then she appears in the drawing room of the Old House. She bites him again. Julia in the woods, taking the short cut to the Old House, puts her hand to her mouth. The short cut seems awfully long. Angelique tells Barnabas that he will be with her forever. She is gone when Julia comes in but Julia finds the fang marks on Barnabas’s neck.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

There’s an ugly tape edit early in act 1, when Sheriff Patterson starts to question Julia.

Sheriff Patterson tells Julia, “That’s his defense. Or will be, if this is brought to ter — trial.”

Patterson asks Julia if there was poison in Joe’s medicine. As she pauses dramatically, someone in the studio coughs.

During Patterson’s interrogation of Julia, the Sheriff looks at the teleprompter twice in the same sentence. First, a long look at the prompter: “Barnabas Collins was giving Haskell” — then looking at Julia — “a dose of the medicine, when” — back to the prompter — “you noticed something was wrong.”

Immediately after that line, there’s the sound of a door opening in the studio, and then somebody whistles.

Mrs. Johnson stifles a chuckle in the second half of this sentence: “That’s a very Christian attitude of yours, one that I’m afraid I couldn’t have.”

When they hear Sheriff Patterson’s car outside, Barnabas starts to call Mrs. Johnson “Mrs. Hoffman”: “Don’t get upset now, Mrs. Ho — er, Johnson.”

There’s another loud cough when Sheriff Patterson tells Barnabas about the tampered medicine.

When Angelique rises from her coffin, you can see her nipples through her dress.

Behind the Scenes:

Today, Sheriff Patterson is played by Alfred Sandor, the fourth actor to play the role in the last two years. He’s actually just a one-day fill-in for Vince O’Brien, who played Patterson from May to July 1968; O’Brien will return in January for another couple episodes.

Alfred Sandor was a Hungarian actor who grew up in a traveling circus; his mother was a strongwoman. When he grew up, he moved to New York and became a boxer. During World War 2, he was a member of the Counter Intelligence Corps of the US Army, and worked as a spy behind enemy lines. He became an actor after the war. His first television appearance was on The Phil Silvers Show in 1956, and he first appeared on Broadway as an understudy in Third Best Sport in 1958. He was a standby performer in Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple from 1965 to 1967, and when he made this Dark Shadows appearance, he was on standby for another Neil Simon comedy, Plaza Suite.

Sandor went to Australia with a touring company of Plaza Suite, and decided to live there. That’s where he had his greatest TV success, as Dr. Raymond Shaw in the Australian soap opera The Young Doctors. Sandor was part of the show’s original cast in 1976, and stayed on the show until he fell ill in 1982. Sandor died in 1983.

PS: There’s a joke out there somewhere that I couldn’t quite persuade to land, involving the words “sherry” and “Sheriff”. There, it’s yours now; you may do what you like with it.

Christine: Is this the fourth Sheriff Patterson? I may have lost count. I thought it was odd that he was hanging out in the drawing room by himself behind closed doors before stepping out to call Mrs. Johnson in from the foyer.

John: So did Julia finally get it when talking to Patterson in the woods? Barnabas' behavior these past few days, and now his change when the dogs are howling? Wake up, Julia!

Christine: Let's hope she finally got it after seeing the bite marks on his neck. Wait until she finds out that his wife is the one responsible.

John: I don't really understand the vampire powers employed in the show. Barnabas had to bat around to get from one place to the next. Angelique always seems to be a chroma-key effect away from showing up anywhere at any time.

Christine: These are next generation vampires that have evolved from Barnabas' old school style of squeaky bat vampirism, though why does she spend all that time calling him when she could just pop in? Mrs. Johnson wins the award for best quote of the day: