VIP S3E10: Bodyguards

Date: January 20, 2001

Plot: At the Bodyguard Expo celebrity kidnapping/countering competition, VIP is to take on New York's market leader, Ty Bolander's Hamptons Security. But federal judge Kreiger has hired a goon to find and eliminate an undercover cop, which he extracts from Val's favorite barman, Relic. Both target lists get exchanged during a brawl in Foam, leading to mislead kidnapping. Ray Wise guest star.

Nikki’s driving the Cadillac for a test drive. The license plate is 2FAN321. The car also has a front that lights up like KITT from KNIGHT RIDER, has infra red surveillance and high def resolution to read a license plate at 100 yards.

Ty Bolander introduces himself to Tasha at the Bodyguard Expo. He throws Shade at Val who returns with, “Whatever, Ty Bo.”

I’m already loving this episode.

Val enlists Maxine De La Cruz to find a celebrity to stunt fake kidnap for the expo. They think Meg Ryan looks too much like Kay. Val thinks Brad Pitt needs to decide on a hair style or he’s not quite right. Bruce Willis turned them down. “And he did Friends and this is way better than Friends, much more fun.” And Val adds Tom Selleck did Friends so…

Maxine asks about Dolly Parton. Val looks at her own chest and says “She’s bigger than that. Way bigger.”

Val wants Maxine to do it.

Judge Efram Krieger of Federal District Court (the always wonderful Ray Wise of devil fame in REAPER, an under rated wonderful comedy horror) hires a man to force Foam bar tender Relic (Pam’s real life brother) to give him a list of four undercover cops that are investigating the judge for corruption. Relic claimed he is connected.

At Foam, seven minutes into the episode or so, Val has a costume change. She calls Ty a poo poo head.

Val uses a straw to spit ball a man with a gun in his eye. This happens while Relic gives the hired thug the list on a tray. When an all out fray starts, it sounds a lot like the thug hits the man with the gun and says, the F curse word to him, “F you.”

Relic is taken away by the beach cops in shorts that Maxine goes and gets to stop the fight. Val says, “I’m so disappointed in you. You’re like a brother to me.”

In the melee, the list gets switched for a list that has only Maxine’s name on it visible (above her is probably Meg Ryan, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt). The Judge now thinks Maxine is one of the undercover cops. Val has the real list of cops!

The judge order the thug to get Maxine and she will tell them the names of the other three.

To match Val, Johnny has an outrageous yellow crop top with a shirt under it, purple, and purple wrist bands. And black leather pants. And great big black shades.

Ty plants a tracker on Max’s turban so he can track her in the fake kidnapping contest.

Val, in outrageous wig and Max, in a blond wig, go shopping. Val has six outfits in one hour. The thug holds a gun on Maxine but the two girls think this is part of the kidnapping expo game. When Val pulls Max, the thug calls her Gidget and she says, “Well, you don’t have to be rude.”

They took her between the Gap and Banana Republic. Johnny is running the hand to hand combat seminar and Tasha has a weapons expo.

Strung up in an old mechanic garage, Max tells the Judge the others on the list: Meg Ryan, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt.

Max tells them Val made up the list. They call Val at VIP (she has on another outfit and a cowboy hat of some kind).

The thug is named Hobbs and the Judge has a long dossier on him and it will go right to the LAPD if he does not get the list.

Val, Quick, Kay and Nikki figure a stranger took Max but the know Relic knows the stranger and Relic is in jail since attacking a cop (how do they know the man was a cop?). On their way to see Relic in jail, Val claims Maxine is the best roommate a girl could hope for except for the weird things she does with the left over floss she leaves in the sink. Val thinks it’s unsanitary.

They see Relic in a car. Nikki does a Bat turn (reference to the BATMAN tv show).

They chase him but he stops a fight with two other men by firing a gun in the air and introduces them to detectives Swindon and Lopez. He is detective Billy Pierce which he tells Val when she references MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and thinks that Relic is going to pull off a face mask to reveal he is chief of police. Relic has been setting up his sting undercover as a bar tender for eight months.

Val gives Relic the list : Ken Wilson, Curtis Corbitt, Steven Levine, and Ron Patterson.

Val knows Max has a problem with floss and toothpaste stuck in the sink but she doesn’t think they should ignore she’s been kidnapped for real. Relic tells them he cannot go after Maxine and that they cannot either. This doesn’t make sense as he needs Maxine to get back in touch with the buyer (of the list?). The list is made up.

Val tells the others Maxine is very smart: she’s seen every episode of Wise Guy. Nikki knows Max will last all of two seconds.

The exchange is made. Maxine tells them they also have Ty so Val snatches the list back from Hobbs in exchange for Ty, who has a hot wired device in his mouth---one he already planted on Maxine, so Ty has been cheating the whole time.

Relic visits Kay who was watching shirtless men working out on the net. After he leaves, something sparks up on the lab table? And what?

Relic threatens Val with jail via Kay if Val does not stop interfering with his investigation. Kay reveals Tasha is familiar with federal violations.

Kay has put a spy cam on Val’s broach which is on her hat.

Though Quick and Nikki beat down Hobbs and another thug, the pairs end up pointing guns at each other. The Judge appears and threatens Ty with a gun.

The Judge soon orders Hobbs and thug to drop all the others in the ocean and soon the others are tied up on a plane.

The judge is headed for Rio before undercover cops bury him. I thought he had the list now?

Kay finds out someone is using the judge’s credit card to purchase a one way plane ticket to Rio. WHY didn’t the Judge just fly there on his own plane instead of having Hobbs use it to dump bodies? They are flying to Hawaii, Val references Waimea.

Relic pulls a gun on Tasha but she disarms him. They decide to work together with Johnny, too. Hobbs is going to parachute out of the plane as he makes it crash so they all die and the Judge is presumed dead. Quick and Nikki have already uses a glass to free themselves. Quick punches Hobbs down.

As Johnny, Tasha and Relic borrow the same car from Nikki’s earlier jaunt in order to stop the judge, Nikki and Quick make Maxine parachute out of the plane with Ty, both strapped together. Hobbs wakes up and has to be punched down again but not after he gets off a few shots, the result of which has Val trapped and locked in the cockpit. In that order of things, Nikki, who planned to land the plane, can’t.

Kay uses virtual pilot to help Val land the plane.

Tasha, Relic and Johnny get the Judge’s car to stop and then have to fight the Judge and his two henchmen.

Johnny deguns one of the thugs, the driver, and his gun goes up in the air, Johnny kicks through the window to floor the man, pulls the man through the window by his tie, and catches the gun. Amazing.

Relic stops the judge from shooting Tasha and/or at Johnny.

After landing the plane, Val references this:

While John Travolta did not specify when the incident took place, the actor recounted in a 1995 New Yorker interview that he suffered engine failure while flying with his family in 1992 and was forced to make an emergency landing at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport.

Val and then Kay use the word Baby and say it in a way that reminds me of AUSTIN POWERS.

Ty arrives via farm truck (?) with Maxine to the Bodyguard Contest. How? It would take a longer time than they did? Maybe?

Ty is declared the winner as Max is the “kidnapped” client.

Kay eats a snickers. Later, she admits to hacking into the LAPD internet but changes that when Relic hears. He’s been promoted. When Tasha asks why Val didn’t ask Tasha to help her land the plane, she claims Tash would have just yelled at her but then says she forgot Tasha’s phone number but that’s probably not true.

He's on a new deep undercover assignment so will remain at FOAM. Val kisses his cheek. Ty shares his award with Maxine.

We never find out who used the Judge’s credit card. Huh?

This ep of VIP featured music by Amanda Ghost.

VIP Top Secret Technical Briefing: martial arts. Tasha is familiar with jiu jitsu used by Soviet Spetnaz, and the Isreali Krav Maga. She practices Leido for relaxation. Though the subtitles say Leido, it sounds more like Akido or aihatoe. “Not that I relax that often.”

Nikki learned basic self defense in the army and studied kickboxing. No one particular style. “I prefer to kick ass now and let someone else describe it later.”

Kay is not very physical. She got hurt several times so Tash made her stop going out into the field: it was insurance reasons. Kay talks about Val being smart, Nikki says she rocks and Tasha is not sure what style Val has: Blonde Jitsu.

A fun episode with a fast pace and as usual, quirky situations and amazing stunts. The car is obviously a nod to KNIGHT RIDER.