DOCTOR WHO-THE REALITY WAR

 

DOCTOR WHO-THE REALITY WAR

“You’ve driven me absolutely mad.”

“Can be forgotten and gone…”

 

 

 

Wasn’t that the name of an audio or comic book, too, where MEEP returned? Can they think of their own titles? Can this show do anything original?

 

Okay, while on the surface this was engaging, it’s so bad, too. It’s again, bad cosplay, now mixing Mel, Rose 2, Ruby, Poppy (oh, the Doctor’s wish daughter who is real?), the Rani, Mrs. Flood Rani who is made to vanish by the Indian Rani (?), UNIT, Kate (oh dear god), Shirley (who is very annoying), Belinda (ditto), and the bone creatures. IT’s war! It’s dull as dishwater. The feelings emitted are nothing real. Poppy is a bland, unengaging child, Belinda is there to protect her, the Rani is trying to bring back Gallifrey by rescuing Omega from the under-verse (which the Doctor not so cleverly calls up STRANGER THINGS the upside down and other references to other not so better and better shows). This is garbage. Bad cosplay. Again.

 

Please end this show.

 

Everyone talks and talks and there are explosions and we know only the unnamed UNIT white men are going to die or be injured (Kate even calls, “MEDIC!”). The UNIT building has a part that can fly. Sigh. Is RTD two years old?

 

We also have Anita the time hotel worker (owner?) who had to hold the door open to reality and when she was looking to find the Doctor (and save him of course as he can’t save himself…or anyone it would seem), we also get Matt Smith playing chess with a cowboy hat on to remind us of even worse stories and then a door where we see Jon Pertwee being interrogated by Daleks while his older selves are on the screen (at least I saw Hartnell and Troughton, I’m not sure anyone else was up there, nor do I care) to remind us of superior stories.

 

We also get Susan Twist. WTF is she again? Do I even fucking care?

 

What happened to DW? It used to tell stories of world building, history, danger, quests, even love and romance, war, honor, loyalty, family (RTD’s first era!), first loves (RTD’s first era), epics that meant something, smaller wonderful almost cozy stories that meant something, scary or at least foreboding horror tales,  stories about rebels and taxes or struggles with and against nature, the dark universe, the bright wonderful places, too, and logical science fiction for the most part with some flaws. Now, it’s just nothing. It’s an empty, hollow, unentertaining POS. Truly bad. Bad TV. Bad cosplay.  The bone creatures came from a Sy Fy set of movies.

 

The Rani would not want to free Omega at all. Nor would she want Gallifrey back. She’d be happy it was gone. Here, clearly, she’s just doing what evil does. Oh, and she’s now clearly just like the Master. 

Mel rings false too (“I was a house wife!” as if that’s terrible). She looks ridiculous in that outfit on that motor bike and standing like that in UNIT. Rose and Ruby’s rapport is more cringe than Belinda and The Doctor’s.

 

This is just so bad.

 

Visually stunning but bad writing. Boring action. Nothing of any consequence happening whatsoever.

 

Oh and the Time Lords are sterile. No, no, and no.

 

Cringe.

 

Omega should be played by Peter Davison.

 

Or Jack Black. Or Rowan Atkinson. Instead of this ranting lunatic we’d get some Jim Carrey like weasel. That’d would make this a camp classic rather than a craptastic POS. But no, we get the monster from hell, from POLTERGEIST. And a rushed explanation: he's a legend so he made himself a legend, a monster. WTF? Just stop RTD. I wanted explanations but that was just embarrassing. 

 

Ruby tries to talk her way out from under Conrad’s sights…he has a gun trained on her. She just teleported in front of him. He was ready for her. I hoped he'd shoot her dead. 

 

The Omega monster, he’s become his own legend…why would Omega of the Time Lords want to become THAT monster? He eats the Rani, hopefully putting paid to rest all her future appearances but we have Flood to become another Rani through RTD’s STUPID ass bi generation shit.

 

Ruby tells Conrad that what they had was real? Is she bluffing, lying, or lying to herself? She surmises that his father wasn’t good to him. He feels sad. Aww.

 

Wait. Wasn’t Omega anti matter?

 

So the non violent Doctor who never carries a weapon (he does sometimes and Moffat, the lout, made his sonic screwdriver a weapon in the horrid DAY OF THE DOCTOR) uses the location finder thing on Omega, the giant monster. Sigh. BTW why not just stop the pretenses and carry a weapon rather than rely on it being in the right spot at the right time, just so happens to be over your head when you need to KILL Omega. Again. 

And how did the Doctor trick the Rani? With an exploding sonic?

 

Ruby then gets the baby and blows Conrad and makes him vanish, wishing him to be happy. When did Ruby get these powers? Is this her 73 Yards self?

 

So the Doc sends the monster from POLTERGEIST back into hell.

 

40 minutes in and it’s all over? And now we get the required RTD five endings to everyone’s boring, neatly fixed story? Gosh. Give me MST3000. Or give this shit to them.

 

Ruby has no real feelings. Belinda thinks she’s going to settle down traveling in the TARDIS with a little girl and the gay Doctor? WTF?

 

Only, no, she does not. Poppy vanishes and only Ruby remembers her. Sigh.

 

Things just happen here with no regard to narrative, rules, or logic.

 

Kate invites Anita to work for UNIT. Yawn.

 

For a gay Doctor, there’s little gay agenda. There’s only him thanking all these females for helping him. WTF?

 

Anita leaves, telling the Doctor the Boss says hello. The Doctor parks that. God, another stupid gimmick mystery!

 

If that’s not bad enough, more gimmicks await: to save or find Poppy, the Doctor uses his regeneration power to boost the TARDIS for some reason he explains but which makes no sense anyway. Jodie’s 13^th Doctor appears to try to stop him but then changes her mind and learns from 15 she should say to Yaz she loves her. She says she never says things like that but in season 11 she kind of did. This sucks. She has to leave. That appearance meant NOTHING.

 

So instead of losing his face like he thought he would, the 15^th wakes up still the 15^th. Did I mention I hate this shitty show now?

 

In what trumps the worst two regenerations, the Doctor slows up his own regeneration, “Not yet.”  Poppy and Belinda are in a house.

 

When will this have the decency to end already? Like drag this out much?

 

 

This made me feel…nothing.

 

So then 15 regenerates….and we get introduced to Billie Piper? WTF?

 

As if this entire 0/10 venture was not bad enough…Doctor 16 is now Billie Piper. No, no, and no.

 

God, how bad can DW get?

 

Please cancel this show now! And if not, fire RTD off it for good, please.

 

 

Omega comes back as the monster from Poltergeist. Archie Panjab comes back as the Rani or the evil villain she played in GOOD WIFE. Susan comes back to say a few lines to the Doctor in space who is breathing...in space....and who floats around...in space....unfreezes him. And that's it. Who else? Matt Smith in a cowboy hat playing chess to show us there can be worse stories. Jon Pertwee on a table being tortured by Daleks to show us there were superior stories. Jodie returns to remind us how nice she was in season 11 and how pout pout she became and how the writers messed up the love between her and Yaz by making her more like Smith and Tennant and Capaldi instead of taking the Doc of season 11 and expanding that positive, optimistic Doctor. Billie Piper isn't really a character returning, despite the credits trying to off put us, she IS the Doctor now. Another bad choice. Love her but she played Rose and another gimmick is not what this show needs. And regeneration power can be harnessed years after a Time Lord has regenerated or drummed up on notice if a Time Lord wants to kill himself. Great. Biggest shit ever.

 

So, wow, because it was so bad and drawn out. Everyone in this needed to stop talking. As an example of the kind of utter false dialog, we get this from Belinda: "I’m not letting my daughter go! No one touch her, not even you! I'll....I'll harm you! I'll give ya such a pinch!"

Maybe Billie is Romana and 15 was Romana all the time and she will find 14 and it will be Billie Romana with David Doctor 14 together again? 

This show sucks.