DOCTOR WHO-THE LAST CHRISTMAS

 

DOCTOR WHO-THE LAST CHRISTMAS

“Santa goes bad ass.”

“Ahh, oh, he’s giving me the feels.”

“Shut up. That’s a, that’s a verbal warning.”

 

God, make this stop. Moffat, stop it! TIME AND THE RANI almost stopped me being a fan for a few months, well, that and PARADISE TOWERS and the horrid DRAGONFIRE. But why didn’t this crap? This is bad DW. I mean really bad.

 

Hold onto your sleds! Here we goooo!

 

I hate Moffat’s writing.

 

One full fucking hour!?

 

I don’t even think I can go on reviewing this. This is awful. God awful. All of it. Tangerines. Roof top dialog. Reindeer. Happy Easter. I hate this. I really hate this show.

 

OMG. Make it stop really. Base. It will soon be under siege, right? Bathroom jokes. Old man put hand on Shona’s knee.

 

How can anyone write this bad?

 

For a brief second, like most of Moffat, this seemed as if it might get good, just about when the monster zombies were converging on Shona, the interfering Doctor (skeleton man), and the girl in the nightie. Then, Santa photobombs DOCTOR WHO. Gosh, did I ask for someone to make this stop? Santa has a remote to Rudolph?

 

45 minutes and 4 seconds to go.

 

So, the North Pole has crabs.

 

It seems to me that this plot is originally from an INNOVATION LOST IN SPACE comic book issue. THE X FILES also ripped it off. Maureen, Judy, Don and Smith are in a cave stuck in some creature while it makes them think they are not. While it slowly causes them to die for food…

 

It was better in the comic book.

 

Then there’s this bit: ALBERT: They're a bit like Facehuggers, aren't they?

DOCTOR: Face huggers?

ALBERT: You know, Alien. The horror movie, Alien.

DOCTOR: There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.

 

Which negates that there was an ALIEN in THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD.

 

What’s wrong with Polly…eh, Tegan…eh, girls, fetching tea? There’s nothing wrong with men fetching tea either. Sigh.

 

30 minutes to go.

 

Okay, the Danny stuff works. BUT this plot is old hat. It is interesting the Doctor submits to the alien things to get Clara out. Would Matt’s Doctor ever do that? Certainly not for Rory.

 

This is why I hate Moffat’s stories or a majority of them in his own era/error: stuff happens. Then he gives a lard ass load of shite explanations that make no sense. IF everyone is dreaming, how did Santa Claus visit Clara AND the Doctor (last episode)? Is he trying to save them? How did he get them as a dream to the base? Maybe this will be explained later?

 

It almost works, too, like most of his stuff that doesn’t.

 

WTF? Shona doesn’t react that an alien dream crab just fell off her. Instead she checks her Christmas list. The Doctor finds Clara who decided to stay asleep? Presumably for Danny but we never see that? The Doctor gets to Clara 62 years later. Shouldn’t she be dead? And why is she talking like she’s had a life? Is the Doctor seeing her as he sees her or as she really is?

 

Love that he called one of the scientists sexy one.

 

In any case, the extended ending is the ending and it’s really very boring and very annoying. Is the dream still going on?

 

Clara hugged the Doctor. The Doctor flew a sleigh. Nice effects here. Why did Santa help them? He was their dream rescuer.

 

They’re still in the dream. Makes sense.

 

Old Clara in the dream said that the other man besides Danny was impossible, meaning she fancied the Doctor after all.

 

He cannot tell if she’s old?

 

I won’t even go into the ending. How did the Doctor wake up? He doesn’t know who to thank? Santa? The real one?

 

What a mess. Over long, boring, and silly, with hints it could have been something special. Irritating dialog and over long set pieces especially the return in the sleigh. This is tedious at best, horrid at worst.